Obliterate every tiny bit of pride/manhood that i managed to cling on to.

I finally got a hold of a couple of dollars, which is great b/c Brindy needed food. So, being the frugal indigent burden on society that I am, I google searched for the cheapest price for the really great dog food that I used to buy her when I counted. Petco, google says. the one closest to the house, too. So I proceed up there, walk over to the dog food, and it's on sale! I mmove to grab the 30 lb bag, but then freeze, and look around, hoping no one saw me. I walk with a cane now. My back is in constant, excruciating pain. No way under Heaven or Earth I can throw it on my shoulder like I used to. So I go get a cart, and ask the petite little girl working there if I can get some help with a bag of dog food. She says sure, someone will meet me there. Don't you know, it was all 95 lbs of her. She picked it up like it was a down pillow and tossed it easily in the basket. After I paid, she repeated the act into the back of the Toyota. I was so effin embarrassed, and ashamed that this child can perform feats that I could do all damn day long not so long ago. Yeah, good luck getting a job, sissy. Can't lift ten lbs? Sorry, we're not hiring pussies today.