I know there's gonna be some bumps in the road,

but this is effin' ridiculous. Just when I thought I had my medications figured out, and was starting to feel better, like maybe I was gonna make it out, everything fell apart. It makes me sick that I fall apart like this whenever I have a crisis, but in my defense, my world went to hell in a hurry. I'm not gonna go through the horror story that is my paperweight truck. That's my name for it from now on. Paperweight. I am so so so stressed out and my anxiety is at an all time high. I'm so worried about what I'm gonna do that I find myself getting paranoid. I constantly stare out  the window, in case someone's coming. For what? IDK. My back hurts so badly that I could just curl up in a ball and cry. I wish a storm would come and wash me away. I really think I'd prefer oblivion to this state of mind. I gotta go, I can't even write. Pray for me, will ya?